November 7, 2014 was the third anniversary of our Family Day. The wonderful day that Gary and I met our amazing daughter, Natalie Wanhan, in the Jiangxi province of China. I knew from the very first moment I met her I would do anything for Natalie including giving my life for hers without hesitation. Since then I have seen this beautiful (inside and out) child touch the lives of so many others. Recently I was asked on a form to list at least one strength of my child. I could have written for hours, but I just wrote the first few words that came to mind: focused, detail oriented, curious, compassionate and wise. When I read the words back to myself I seemed like I was talking about someone in their 40s or 50s. Natalie Wanhan is an old soul. It is mind boggling how a four year old girl is changing the world through her deep love and compassion. In the last 12 months I have lost Gary and three other friends. All four of those people had life altering moments with Natalie prior to their deaths. She inspires so many others, including me, to be their best selves. I am so excited to see what the future holds with this phenomenal child in my life and on our planet.
When I asked Natalie what she wanted to do to celebrate our 4th Family Day she said she wanted to climb Pinnacle Mountain. In the picture below you can see the sign that says it is a 1 1/2 mile trip that is steep, rugged and strenuous. I wasn’t anticipating going all the way to the top because I thought Natalie would tire out before then, but she surprised me (as she frequently does). Once when I stopped for a rest Natalie said “Come on Mama, we can’t stop until we get to the top.”
On top of our little corner of the world.
Words can not express how much I love this child. I am the luckiest mama!
After our hike Natalie wanted to wear one of her Chinese dresses and have dinner at a Chinese restaurant. Happy Family Day to my delightful Natalie Wanhan.
Natalie and I just returned from our annual pilgrimage to NYC. Our first day was spent with our very dear friends in Long Island. Natalie had a wonderful time playing with "S" (age 10) and "A" (age 6), who were also both adopted from China. The older girls were so sweet with Natalie. It was wonderful to see her interact with them and fun to see her hold her own. Natalie is definitely no shrinking violet; she is a girl full of plans and ideas which she loves to share with others. Natalie had the time of her life and I think she would have been thrilled for us to move in with this amazing family.
Portrait of "S" taken by Natalie
Tuckered out girls take a 5 minute rest before bouncing back up to conquer the world again.
Two years ago today, Gary, Natalie and I were given the gift of each other as we became Daddy, Mommy and Daughter. My sister Leah gained a precious niece while Natalie gained the most loving Aunt Sissy. Marm, Papa, Greatgrandmother, Grandmommy and Granddaddy were given the gift of a sweet grandchild while Natalie was given the gift adoring grandparents. Aunts, Uncles, Cousins and Friends were blessed by this feisty Jiangxi girl and in return blessed the life of our little firecracker from China. Katie and Louie the Newfoundlands got a little girl of their very own to lick and love; Natalie gained two zealous protectors who will always do their best to keep her safe from harm.
Natalie has touched so many hearts and lives and in return she has been so very loved. In China so many people would give us the thumbs up sign and say in Chinese "lucky baby". I believe it is more accurate to say "Lucky everyone whose life is touched by Natalie, and lucky Natalie to be the giver and receiver of an enormous circle of love."
On November 7th, I lifted a screaming, terrified little stranger into my arms. Now Natalie and I share a bond which is so tight that at times it feels that we can read each other's minds.
My darling daughter, Natalie Wanhan, thank you for filling my heart and soul with more love than I ever dreamed possible. I will always love you, and not even death can stop your Daddy's deep, indelible love for you.
Two years ago today, Gary and I saw our daughter's beautiful face for the first time when we received her referral photo.
After 6 years of waiting we finally found out our daughter's Chinese name, Ling Wan Han. We learned out that she was living in an orphanage in Shangrao in the Jiangxi Province of China. Our 20 month old sweetie had been living in the orphanage since she was about a day old.
We thought that she was the most beautiful child we had ever seen and we couldn't wait to hold her in our arms. It was probably the most emotional day of my life. I was so filled with joy and relief that I cried for hours. The below video shows a messy version of me, but it gives an idea of what referral day is like.
I will never be able to fully express the immense love that we have for this amazing child who we are honored to call our daughter.
Today, August 17th, 2013, is the day when Natalie has lived exactly half of her life with us. Every day still feels like a miracle and we are so grateful to have such an amazing, spicy and sweet little girl in our family. Natalie, we love you very much and are so lucky to be your parents.
I know that attachment and adjustment in adoption is different for every child, but many experts say that as a general rule of thumb this cycle is complete once the child has spent the same amount of time with their new family as they spent in an orphanage or in foster care. I feel like Natalie has had a healthy attachment to us for quite a long time now, and it is wonderful to feel our bonds growing stronger every day.
Gary, Natalie and I recently attended a Lunar New Year celebration to ring in the Year of the Snake. It was a multi-cultural event for adopted children from all countries. Everyone brought ethnic food inspired by their child's birth place. There was an amazing Tae Kwon Do demonstration, beautiful African dancing, the traditional dragon dance, the parade of nations, a snake toss and lots of other activities. As usual, Natalie was clinging to us at first, but she quickly loosened up and had a good time.
Late last year we had our one year follow up visit with our super sweet social worker. She wrote up a glowing report about how well Natalie has adjusted to us and how much progress she has made. This will be our final report to be sent to China. We hope they are reassured that we are giving Natalie the best care possible and that she is as loved as any child could possibly be. When they entrusted us with her they gave us the most precious gift imaginable. My heart overflows with gratitude for every single day we have together.
Natalie giving our social worker a High Five.
Our little bookworm
After we left the cafe the three of us had dinner at one of our favorite restaurants.
Wiggle Worm :)
Natalie especially loved the lobster bisque and my salmon. I think she would be happy to eat seafood every day.
Every day when I get home from school I say, "Hello Kitty Dress please Mama!", "Bow shoes please", "Hello Kitty socks please".
And everywhere I go I must have one of my three favorite soft cloth dollies with me.
This is me with my favorite Teddy Newf
Books are another of my favorite things. I like to drag mine all out and have them surrounding me for easy access. As always I have my Hello Kitty dress on and one of my favorite dollies by my side. This particular dolly was the exact one my Daddy gave me when I first met him and Mommy in China. Thanks Papa for picking out this great dolly.
Speaking of China, I am a big fan of the Nickelodeon show "Ni Hao KaiLan!" I now use two Mandarin phrases on a regular basis: Ni Hao (hello) and Xie Xie (thank you).
One of my favorite episodes is when KaiLan and her friends go on an airplane to China. I have lots of pictures of myself when I was a baby in China and I've decided I'm ready to go back for a visit. Mama says she will take me when I get older, and since I am a little older everyday I make sure to mention at least 10 times a day so she doesn't forget... "Mama, I want to go China. Mama and Natalie fly on airplane in the sky, ok?"
[Note From Mama: She calls China "Natalie's China" and says "No you China, Daddy/Mommy; Natalie's China!" I want to take her on a heritage trip in about 10 years.]
A year ago today my dream of becoming a mother came true, Gary finally became a father and 21 month old Ling Wan Han had her life torn apart as she was given to two strange sounding, odd smelling and different looking people. Wan Han was abruptly thrust into a whole new world without a clue of what was happening to her. It was a bittersweet day for me knowing that in her short life Wan Han had lost her birth parents, two sets of foster parents and the only home she had ever known at the Shangrao Ling Orphanage.
From the first moment I held Wan Han in my arms I remember feeling fiercely protective over her. I wanted to keep her safe and provide her with all the love and care she needed to heal from her emotional wounds including the huge one that was inflicted on her the day she met us.
Wan Han cried a little the first few days that we were together, but she was mostly eerily quiet. We wondered if she would ever smile; her spirit seemed broken. She constantly looked around as she seemed to be assessing her new environment for danger. Wan Han quickly decided to turn to me for security while she took in everything with her big shell-shocked eyes. I remember so vividly the moment she made that decision the first night. After we brought her up to our hotel room I was going to leave her with Gary as I took my turn going downstairs to sign paperwork. When Wan Han saw that I was going to leave her she spoke the only words we heard during our first 10 days together as she reached her arms towards me desperately crying out "Mama, Mama". It was so very sad. That is when I realized that she chose me as the person she would cling to during her time of loss and confusion. I knew that to Wan Han "Mama" meant caretaker and that it would be quite some time before I heard that word again with the meaning of mother. (By the way, I ended up taking her downstairs with me and she sat on my lap as I filled out and signed document after document.)
Soon Wan Han decided that Gary was a good playmate and would play stacking blocks with him on the bed. However, for the first several days even her playtime was solemn. It took awhile for all of that fear to turn to love, but eventually it did. Tiny cracks in her somber veneer began showing up on Day 6 and little by little she opened her heart to us. Since then the love between Gary, Natalie and I has never stopped growing.
This movie documents our first year as a family of five: Baba, Mama, Daughter and Newfs. I love seeing how Natalie's face has changed over time as she learned to trust us and fully embrace her new home, dogs, family, life and all the love we have to give.
People we encountered in China frequently gave us thumbs up and said "Lucky Baby" when they realized that we adopted Natalie Wanhan. We feel that we are even luckier to be her parents. Natalie has changed our lives and our hearts forever in the best possible way. We love our amazing, beautiful, precious daughter so much! Every day we have together is a gift that reminds us to live in the present moment and fills us with gratitude.
When we met Natalie she was wearing over 2 pounds of clothing. That is a lot for a rail thin little girl who only weighed 18 pounds at 21 months old. I never previously published these photos, so I thought it would be interesting to show what Natalie's Family Day clothing looked like.
Chinese people believe in dressing much warmer than we do in the U.S. Because Gary and I were warned before travel about the unofficial "clothes police" we tried to be very careful to keep Natalie well covered while we were in public. However, we still had a few ladies come over to us and tug Natalie's pant legs down where they had ridden up. I think it's interesting that they don't seem to be big on wearing hats in China. Maybe they don't know that a lot of body heat can escape through an uncovered head.
Outside layer - The overalls, the only new article of clothing, were donated to the orphanage by a Families with Children from China organization in Spain I believe.
Second layer
Third layer
Fourth layer (including split pants and undershirt both with multiple repairs visible)
Underneath all of that was a dry diaper which was likely put on Natalie just for travel purposes. In the orphanage the children wear split pants and have bare bottoms to provide easy access for using the potty. Natalie was about 95% potty trained when we met her.
When I took Natalie's diaper off I discovered one final layer. A big white bandage had been taped to her abdomen. When I saw it I remember feeling a moment of panic. I was scared to take the bandage off because I was expecting to find a large wound underneath. Instead I found a muddy looking poultice that had been covering up her belly button. What a relief! I found out later that this was an herbal remedy likely meant to prevent colds or digestive problems.
A year ago today Natalie traveled approximately 3 1/2 hours from the Shangrao Ling orphanage to the Crowne Plaza Hotel in the capital of Jiangxi Province, Nanchang.
When you shop at Amazon.com please click on the above logo to do your shopping. You will be supporting LWB, an organization that provides many orphans in China much needed surgery, food, education and love.
"Welcome home to the Happy Haus" is the greeting I used to receive from Gary when we arrived home from work each day. Gary and I brought our daughter Natalie home from China in November 2011 to live with us in our cozy cottage. In October of 2013, we unexpectedly lost Gary, our dear husband, father and friend.
Our family includes our two sweet Newfoundland dogs, Katie and Louie. Newfoundlands are working dogs, so we make sure our two always have a job to do. Katie and Louie are both certified therapy dogs and bring lots of joy to people who are in need of some Newfie love. They have also competed in Rally Obedience. Katie has earned a Rally Advanced title and Louie has earned a Rally Excellent title. In keeping with Newf tradition, Katie has become a proficient draft dog while Louie prefers practicing water rescue whenever he gets an opportunity. They are also both protectors of their little sister, Natalie.
- Charity
